Losing Myself Every Morning

Warmth of the blankets keeps me in as the alarming music blares, awaking me from my forceful dreams. A mixture of lost adventure and terrified adrenaline circles in my head as I realize I am moist from sweat. I hear the music that reminds me of the “have-tos” of the day. Turn it off and it will all go away. My eyes close, my breathing softens. Minutes later the snooze is not long enough. If I leave the blankets I might die. The safe, unconscious person, who finally could relax and be me, will be no more when I roll out of that bed. I can’t give it up, I won’t; and the blankets fly over my head as I make the music stop again. All is silence.
The music goes again. I feel as though I was in a fight, exhausted with myself. More tired than the first hint of the forced start of the day. I push snooze again. I can hide for a little longer.
The music goes on again; eventually I roll out of bed and the self I liked before the first alarm is gone and not coming back. I quickly rush to make up for time and become the me I am during the day.

This is what I was wearing

Silent voice speaking
out in reciprocity with others.
A majority seen as a minority;
So many and I was one.
A silent voice speaking
with identity hid
"This is what I was wearing"
Date Rape Survivor
January 29, 2006.

"What e'er flames upon the night, Man's own Resinous heart had fed."


Disappear where fear knows not blood and tear
Squeezed out tidal emotion.
Slice, silent, sever, all relation.
Fade away in darkness' covering -
Achieve. Juicy, sticky, sweet confectioning;
Death can be consumed here.

Heroes make good battles

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