by - STACYANN
The very act that I desire to comfort me
Terrifies me

To get close
To be hugged
To have my hair stroked away from my face

Every act of closeness is thought over twice.

It should be easy to hug someone
But it’s not

To get my body to move is like my mind
learning to drive a forklift
which struggles to pick up a 2 ton
Scarred Elephant

I am that Elephant. . .
I don’t know who I am
Some days I’m a Dove
Flying away,
getting out of the darkness
searching for faith to return back with.
Other times I am a Bear
surged with anger
and a strong desire to lay in the coldness and stillness of hibernation
Now I am a kitten Meowing,
pleading silently for its source of comfort
I rub against the lovesome legs of giants
who weren’t there -
to comfort me - kindly and soothingly