by - STACYANN
The very act that I desire to comfort me
Terrifies me

To get close
To be hugged
To have my hair stroked away from my face

Every act of closeness is thought over twice.

It should be easy to hug someone
But it’s not

To get my body to move is like my mind
learning to drive a forklift
which struggles to pick up a 2 ton
Scarred Elephant

I am that Elephant. . .
I don’t know who I am
Some days I’m a Dove
Flying away,
getting out of the darkness
searching for faith to return back with.
Other times I am a Bear
surged with anger
and a strong desire to lay in the coldness and stillness of hibernation
Now I am a kitten Meowing,
pleading silently for its source of comfort
I rub against the lovesome legs of giants
who weren’t there -
to comfort me - kindly and soothingly

If you only looked - -
(I there's no explaination just read it.)

You would have saw it in my eyes
The words I can not tell you
If only I had the need to try
These words to stop your ply

I would not have to recite
these lyrics that play at night
In that bed of remembrance
I suffer from lack of confidence

I am linked to a forged embrace
That won’t let me forget your face
My eyes tell the secret of your penetrating pain
One day you will know the same

But not today. I’m on the road of recovery
You’re the one that got inside me
The cost of betrayal and lost trust
Will be recognized after I‘ve strengthen my crust.

- Vein's Tears
-BY STACYANN

You suck, like a leech,
I need to detach my vein from.
My vain tears of worry are sleepless
Puddles dry like muddy holes of my soul
creating a sudden cliff you pushed me into

I claw at the walls for an exit -
Only to find dirt under my nails
and streaks down my face.
My torn soul makes it hard to walk
Causing great pain to turn back

or to look forward. So I dig
As the salty tears engulf me
Gasping for breath and forgiveness
I find other leeches I can’t let go of
and the pain is suddenly worse -

But as my blood drains, my heart stops . . .
hurting until it is over. When will the sun come out?